*side note (sorry steve) I had to take out last names.
*side note number 2. You will see Steve calls me Sernah Jernowitz- This nickname goes back many years to one drunken college night. Long story, not going to get into it here.
So here it is... enjoy the guest contribution edition.
Sernah Jernowitz,
Your gchat away message today shows me that you only have 6 days left in the greatest state in the country, New Jersey. Therefore, it is clearly crunch time because if we do not see you within the next 6 days, we will never see you again...
This is because you are moving to Australia, where you will find some Aussie guy who loves American chicks who sweeps you off your feet. You will spend many a glorious month together, until of course your visa expires. You will apply for reinstatement because you love Georgie, but they will deny you on the grounds that you had quit your job 6 months prior because you wanted to spend all of your time with said Aussie man. After being denied your visa, you and Georgie will run away from authorities, leading them on a wild goose chase through the outback, all in the name of love.
After running for many years, the both of you finally decide it's time to leave Australia, so that you are not living your lives of love and lust on the run forever. You will swim off the island and relocate to India, where you will integrate yourself into the culture and become an official curry monster. There will be no returning to America for you at this point, as the Australians will have notified the US government of your at-large, fugitive status, and if you ever show up at an American port-of-call, you will be arrested on-site.
Georgie and you will spend around 30 years in India (you will be about 60 at this point). It is at this time where you decide that you need to see your mommy, who is obviously quite old at this point. You tell her about your inability to set foot on American soil, so she must visit you. So your mother makes the long trip to India to see you, knowing of course she has to do this under a cloak of secrecy, or else the authorities may catch on to what is happening and get you finally. Her only flight, however, is a connecting flight through Japan. The japanese have been working long and hard to find you because of their alliance with the Australians, and when they notice the mother of Sernah Jernowitz passing through on her way to India, they follow her right to you. It is here that the end of the line begins.
As your mother enters your hut and you see her for the first time in 36 years, you are immediately overtaken by an Australian swat team, who had been permitted to enter the country by the Indian government so they could nab their fugitive. Georgie doesn't want to let you go without a fight, so he pulls out the gun you never knew he had and begins firing on the swat members. He manages to get you away from the one officer who has you in custody, and the 3 of you escape into the woods.
The swat team doesn't give up, however, and they chase you deep into the Indian jungle, weary of the threat Georgie poses to them (it is during this escape that you learn that Georgie is an ex-Aussie special forces soldier, who was a hired government hitman made to kill many evil dignitaries throughout the world who threaten the Aussie way). This troubles you, but also makes you feel a little safer since he knows his way around a war-torn jungle. The 3 of you, however, make the fatal mistake of making camp for too long, and the swat members catch up one night. In a glorious firefight where Georgie tries his best to keep you from them, he is fatally wounded. As you hold him in your arms, dirt covering your face, mother at your side, he tells you that he was in fact hired by an American to meet you in Australia, "fall in love" with you, and bring you back to America, because the man who hired Georgie never wanted you to leave in the first place. This American, in fact, is the one who loves you. But of course, Georgie fell in love with you and plan went to shit.
With his last dying breathe, Georgie professes his love to you, regrets how this whole thing ended, and reveals the name of the American who hired him to bring you back because he wanted you more than anything else in this world... Brandon. Georgie passes, and you look to the sky and scream, your mother attempting to console you, but ultimately failing. The Australian swat team finally gets you, and they bring you back to Australia, where you and your mother spend the rest of your days in a maximum security prison in the heart of the Australian desert. There is no escape, there is no hope. There is only the memories, and the thoughts of what might have been had Brandon just had the balls to tell you to never leave, because everything you had ever wanted and hoped for was closer than you thought....
So since I can tell the future and know this is all going to happen, we need to see you within the next 6 days. When are you free to hang?
2 comments:
Yeah, this is the way it'll end -- you and me Bear, in the wilderness of India...can't wait. :) Ma
Congratulations on taking the leap, Sarah! I'll be reading about your adventures:) When in Rome...
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